“Life may be a public performance on the violin, in that you want to learn the instrument as you go along.” The quotation is attributed to a friend of the writer, E.M Forster, and is taken from a brand new book titled, Advanced Banter. It struck me, as I read it in the Daily Telegraph, that this can be never a lot of true than once we are managing a death in the family.
DEALING WITH THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE
The loss of a kid, or death of a spouse, is most likely the most public “performance” anyone will face. Nothing can prepare you for the eventuality; the sense of pain and isolation. You come back to it while not rehearsal or training, and though friends may seem to avert their eyes the, reality is that they are watching: watching to determine how you cope. You have become the central figure on the stage of life, playing the lead character in a very drama for that you’ve got no aptitude and no liking. You have been thrust into this role; forced to play this part. And even whereas your grief, loss and bereavement wrap themselves, serious, concerning you, others look to you to work out if they can learn from your experience.
They can’t, in fact! As a result of no amount of tuition might ever teach us something meaningful about handling the death of a loved one. For every one people it can be a distinctive performance, never to be repeated. Coping with the loss of a kid can be quite different to dealing with the loss of…